1.31.2004
Have you ever suddenly realized that something
wasn't what you thought it was?
When the filters of what we want to see are lifted,
and we see something clearly for the first time,
Enlightenment turns the light on,
and there sits Truth, naked and exposed.
And while the disappointment of Truth
can be heartbreaking,
knowing the Truth is more valuable than the
beauty of all the dreams and illusions that my mind can create.
In the words of Thoreau, "Rather than love, than money,
than fame, give me Truth."
wasn't what you thought it was?
When the filters of what we want to see are lifted,
and we see something clearly for the first time,
Enlightenment turns the light on,
and there sits Truth, naked and exposed.
And while the disappointment of Truth
can be heartbreaking,
knowing the Truth is more valuable than the
beauty of all the dreams and illusions that my mind can create.
In the words of Thoreau, "Rather than love, than money,
than fame, give me Truth."
1.29.2004
There are two kinds of people in the world. People that make things happen, and people that things happen to. Whichever kind you want to be, you can be. It is always your choice. People that make things happen are people who have made choices about what they want, and the actions they take, and decisions they make are based upon those choices. People that things happen to are people who just let life take them wherever it wants to. Usually people who can't make decisions about life end up in this category, because if you don't make a decision, the decision gets made for you. People that things happen to, usually end up being victimized by life. It is always your choice. At any second of any moment you can make a different choice. It is never too late to become the master and creator of your own life.
Dive into life. The waters of life are warm and inviting. Don't get left out in the cold.
Dive into life. The waters of life are warm and inviting. Don't get left out in the cold.
1.28.2004
I received two compliments today that really made my day. The first was while in the line at Starbucks, getting my Soy Latte. The cashier was a very handsome, charming young man about 20-21 years old. Upon completing the transaction, he commented that his wife was going to look like me. I responded, "Your wife looks like me?" He replied: "She will." I assumed that he meant when she got older. Then I heard the other cashier ask him, "Are you married?" "Nope." I smiled. How sweet. Too bad he was so young.
The second compliment meant far more to me. My beautiful fifteen-year old daughter told me that I am her favorite person to hang out with. I am indeed a fortunate person!
The second compliment meant far more to me. My beautiful fifteen-year old daughter told me that I am her favorite person to hang out with. I am indeed a fortunate person!
1.27.2004
ALL THE WAY
When somebody loves you
It's no good unless he loves you all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you - all the way
Taller than the tallest tree is
That's how it's got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue sea is
That's how deep it goes - if it's real
When somebody needs you
It's no good unless he needs you - all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in-between years - come what may
Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you
All the way
All the way
by J. Van Heusen & Sammy Cahn
Click here to here the entire recording from Frank Sinatra.
Click here to here an excerpt from Celine Dion's recording.
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The Kiss by Gustav Klimt
When somebody loves you
It's no good unless he loves you all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you - all the way
Taller than the tallest tree is
That's how it's got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue sea is
That's how deep it goes - if it's real
When somebody needs you
It's no good unless he needs you - all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in-between years - come what may
Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you
All the way
All the way
by J. Van Heusen & Sammy Cahn
Click here to here the entire recording from Frank Sinatra.
Click here to here an excerpt from Celine Dion's recording.
The Kiss by Gustav Klimt
NOW Is All We Have
Time is such a strange thing. Have you ever wondered how time seems to have the ability to speed up and slow down at will? For instance, when I am stuck in traffic, time seems to become like a snail, creeping along at a snail's pace. But when I am with the one I love, time literally seems to sprout wings and fly by. But time is at it's slowest when I am waiting for Him to call. Seconds drag on like minutes, minutes feel like hours, hours seem like days. And when he is gone from me, out of town, days drag on like weeks, weeks feel like months, and months seem like years. So what is time exactly, that it has this strange ability? In reality, time does not exist at all. It is a man-made concept that exists only in our minds. The only thing that actually exists is this present moment, NOW. So what is happening to this present moment when I am reminiscing of those golden moments that I cherish of the one I loved and lost, polishing them in memory until they shine more beautifully than they ever did in reality? I have stopped living. Because those moments no longer exist. And when I am dreaming of the future, I have stopped living. Because the future does not exist. All that exists is now. And we must be careful, because the moment that is now may become the golden moment that we are reminiscing one day, only we never got a chance to live it. To be completely present in it. The love that is real and exists in this moment may one day exist only in our memory, because you lingered too long in the memory of a love that was lost, while a real and present love slipped away. Now is all we have. Now is all we will ever have. When we learn to live and be present in each moment, that is when we will truly be living a golden life.
Time is such a strange thing. Have you ever wondered how time seems to have the ability to speed up and slow down at will? For instance, when I am stuck in traffic, time seems to become like a snail, creeping along at a snail's pace. But when I am with the one I love, time literally seems to sprout wings and fly by. But time is at it's slowest when I am waiting for Him to call. Seconds drag on like minutes, minutes feel like hours, hours seem like days. And when he is gone from me, out of town, days drag on like weeks, weeks feel like months, and months seem like years. So what is time exactly, that it has this strange ability? In reality, time does not exist at all. It is a man-made concept that exists only in our minds. The only thing that actually exists is this present moment, NOW. So what is happening to this present moment when I am reminiscing of those golden moments that I cherish of the one I loved and lost, polishing them in memory until they shine more beautifully than they ever did in reality? I have stopped living. Because those moments no longer exist. And when I am dreaming of the future, I have stopped living. Because the future does not exist. All that exists is now. And we must be careful, because the moment that is now may become the golden moment that we are reminiscing one day, only we never got a chance to live it. To be completely present in it. The love that is real and exists in this moment may one day exist only in our memory, because you lingered too long in the memory of a love that was lost, while a real and present love slipped away. Now is all we have. Now is all we will ever have. When we learn to live and be present in each moment, that is when we will truly be living a golden life.
1.25.2004
Well, today the sun is shining. The fog is clearing from my brain. There is hope again in my heart. I'm also beginning to think more logically. I mean, relationships are not easy, right? Even when two people are in love with each other. But when one person is in love with somebody else, that relationship is severely handicapped, impossible even. So why am I trying to achieve the impossible? Good question.
"I can see clearly now...the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright, sunshiny day."
On a lighter note, this has actually been very beneficial to my weight loss program. The added emotional stress has actually helped me to lose about 12 pounds since January 2, 2004. Not bad. That means I have lost four pounds per week, or burned 14000 calories per week for the past three weeks. I only have 13 more pounds to lose, and ten pounds to gain (in muscle).
This is me by the end of March.
"I can see clearly now...the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright, sunshiny day."
On a lighter note, this has actually been very beneficial to my weight loss program. The added emotional stress has actually helped me to lose about 12 pounds since January 2, 2004. Not bad. That means I have lost four pounds per week, or burned 14000 calories per week for the past three weeks. I only have 13 more pounds to lose, and ten pounds to gain (in muscle).
This is me by the end of March.
1.24.2004
Ever have days when you wish you just didn't have to get out of bed? You just want to pull the sheets over your head, and make the world go away. Where you can't think of one single thing to get excited about? Where everything and everyone in the world looks bleak and ugly and hopeless. No? Well, I guess I'm alone on this one. Today is one of those days for me. One of those dark days of the soul. Even chanting "choose the miracle" over and over again isn't working today. ("Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle. I choose the miracle." from A Course in Miracles) This is actually unusual for me. I'm usually one of those incredibly annoying cheerful people that always has some little tidbit to cheer you up on your worst days. If someone like me approached me today, I'd probably sock them. So why am I such a grump today? I certainly hope I'm not catching that heartsickness a close friend told me about. No. I refuse. I would rather run the other way as fast as I can. Leave the heartsickness to those who would choose it. When love beckoned to me, I followed. When he enfolded me in his wings, I yielded to him. His voice shattered my dreams, and he crucified me. Okay, okay I'm getting a bit melodramatic here. I think I just need to take a closer look at my personal life. Perhaps I have limitations as to what I can handle on a personal level. Maybe, it's actually important to me that the person I'm in love with is not actively in love with someone else. So I'll suffer through another long day of work. And then I'll just go home and crawl under the bed, while bright visions of the SF Indie Fest trailer torture my head. God, I wish I took drugs. That might take the edge off, huh? Just got to make it through today. Maybe tomorrow the sun will shine, and I'll be able to leave all of this darkness behind. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. I already know the pain of too much tenderness. I am already wounded by my own understanding of love; Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to bleed willingly and joyfully. Maybe tomorrow I'll wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; And rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; and then return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in my heart and a song of praise upon my lips. Maybe tomorrow...
1.23.2004
Have you ever wondered what draws two people together? What is the spark that they see in each other? In my work, I deal a lot with married couples sitting across from me, and that question comes to my mind over and over. These people chose to be together. And there's this special connection between them, looks they give each other, holding hands. Why? What makes that connection work? What could she possibly see in him? Or him in her? This question is especially relevant to me, because I NEVER meet anyone that I am interested in, or attracted to. Never meaning extremely rarely. To be honest, I am actually currently in love, and asking the same question of myself. What is it that draws me to this man? Now the problem with my current love situation is that he is not in love with me, he is in love with someone else. So again the question, what is it that he sees in her? What is it that ties his heart to hers? And mine to his? And hers to...?? And why can't it be simple, where the one who loves is actually loved in return by the one they love. And once you do love someone, it's as if that love has taken over your life. It controls your thoughts, your emotions, your actions. Why? Why does this person have such an affect upon you? It is an eternal mystery to me. And why is it so difficult to walk away from? How many conversations have I had in my head with myself? "I don't need this. Why would I be involved with someone who is in love with someone else? What the hell. If I'm going to be involved with someone, it's going to be with someone that's in love with me." Of course, a small voice in the back of my head is reminding me that I NEVER meet anyone that I fall in love with, who is actually in love with me. WHY that is such an impossibility is also a great mystery. And when you're in love, and the object of your love happens to be out of town, (and is, in fact, in the same town as the person they are in love with,) you seem to notice all the lovers around you. It's as if they have multiplied, and they are everywhere you look,
holding hands, kissing, making me puke. No, not really. (Do I sound frustrated?) It's not fair, because they actually seem to be in love with each other.
Everywhere I go, there love is. (I get around) Young lovers, old lovers, ugly lovers, beautiful lovers, oddly-paired, very much in love lovers.
And I'm the first to admit, that love is a beautiful thing. It is like a rose covered in thorns, beautiful and yet painful. Alas, what can you do? For "there is no remedy for love but to love more" - Thoreau
Khalil Gibran on Love:
"When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you, yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you, believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
...But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips." Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
The pain of love is the pain of life, and there can be no joy without pain.
holding hands, kissing, making me puke. No, not really. (Do I sound frustrated?) It's not fair, because they actually seem to be in love with each other.
Everywhere I go, there love is. (I get around) Young lovers, old lovers, ugly lovers, beautiful lovers, oddly-paired, very much in love lovers.
And I'm the first to admit, that love is a beautiful thing. It is like a rose covered in thorns, beautiful and yet painful. Alas, what can you do? For "there is no remedy for love but to love more" - Thoreau
Khalil Gibran on Love:
"When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you, yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you, believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
...But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips." Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
The pain of love is the pain of life, and there can be no joy without pain.
1.22.2004
When I opened my mail today, I received some free stickers from the ASPCA, cute little stickers with pictures of kittens on them, you know the free gift that is supposed to inspire you to send them some money? Well, the stickers didn't do the trick for me, but the story in the letter broke my heart, and I have to share it with you. "His belly was empty. So empty it hurt. The back door would open and shut, and Astro would hope for food. But his abuser never brought any. In fact, he didn't even look at Astro as he came and went. Astro drank out of a puddle near the stake he was chained to. The dirty water kept him alive, but then the puddle dried up. Astro had only a few days to live. By the time a neighbor called us about Astro, the dog was nearly dead. Empowered by law to investigate cases of cruelty and seize abused animals, our ASPCA Humane Law Enforcement Agents entered the back yard. Astro was too weak to bark, or even stand up. He was so thin that you could count every single rib on his weak, dehydrated body. The agents knelt down, speaking gently to Astro. They didn't want to frighten him, so they moved very slowly -- and at first, they didn't pet him. Then they saw it. Astro was wagging his tail. He was barely moving, but yes, the poor sick dog was saying, "Welcome friends!". When Astro was brought back to our Bergh Memorial Animal Hospital, he weighed under 45 pounds, less than half what a dog his size should weigh, and he had a number of infections brought on by malnutrition and weakness. ...Fortunately Astro's story has a happy ending. After a few weeks in our Bergh Memorial Animal Hospital, Astro was adopted by a loving family. Today he's happy and healthy, well fed and loved." Fortunately, also, his abuser was charged with animal cruelty. He admitted that he was intentionally starving the dog to death. I'm a person who believes strongly in peace and non-violence, but even I would be sorely tempted to beat the crap out of someone so cruel. The ASPCA is a wonderful organization dedicated to the prevention of cruelty to animals. (Do I sound like an advertisement?) Okay, the letter worked, the one where they want you to send your very last dime because their story made you cry? Well it worked on me, and now I'm passing it to you. Support the ASPCA. Adopt a pet from the ASPCA. I mean, look at this face. Can you deny it? 
And then these guys(sorry, I couldn't resist)
And then these guys(sorry, I couldn't resist)
1.21.2004
I live in L.A. A town that isn't exactly known for it's genuine sincerity, or depth of character. Rather, the very word "Hollywood" brings to mind a certain pretentiousness that anyone who has spent anytime in Hollywood is familiar with. A pretentiousness that leaves a bad taste in the mouth, and a feeling of emptiness in the soul. It can suck the energy, life, passion and dreams right out of you. It is too easy to get caught up in the who's who, and the who knows who. People forget about what truly counts. Who the hell cares who you know? Who cares what kind of car you drive? Who are YOU, really, underneath it all? What do YOU stand for?
One of my favorite writings says it all; an essay by Oriah Mountain Dreamer from her book called "The Invitation".
The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty, even when it is not pretty every day.
And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know, or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
© Oriah Mountain Dreamer, from the book The Invitation
1.20.2004
Life is never quite what you expect. You make up your mind about something. You're certain of it, and then, surprise; things are different than what you thought. It's life keeping you on your toes, making sure you don't jump to any conclusions. Sometimes we misperceive things. The ego gets in the way. Sometimes you just have to be patient; wait and see. Not always easy. But that's life. Always an adventure...
1.16.2004
I must be crazy sitting here at 3:00 in the morning writing. For some reason, I can't sleep. Too many words going through my head. Between writing scripts, and coming to terms with my current life situation, I can't get the words out of my head. It's actually somewhat therapeutic to be able to put my thoughts down in words. I keep thinking what a fortunate person I am. Because I'm alive... I'm awake. I know who I am, what I want, how to get it, and what my purpose is in life. I think that makes me luckier than probably 90% of the population. How many people go through life and never wake up? They exist, and they never really live. They never think for themselves. They don't question what is happening in the world around them. If they ever had a dream, they've forgotten it. They get caught up in the rut -- go to work, come home, veg out in front of the tv, go to bed, start over. And on their days off, they drink until they are oblivious. Television is one of the most awful inventions, because I think it is the number one cause of people forgetting to live. Sometimes I want to scream out to the general population "WAKE UP! PAY ATTENTION. GET INVOLVED WITH YOUR OWN LIFE, CAREER, COUNTRY, COMMUNITY, SOMETHING!" It's no wonder that the Bush Administration has been able to get away with what it has. Nobody cares. Nobody is conscious enough to care. The media tells everyone what they want them to know, and everybody buys it. But I believe that there is a shift. The younger generation is more questioning, less accepting of what they are told, more open-minded. And I believe that slowly, but surely, we are beginning to see a shift in consciousness. More minds are opening, wakening. It is my dream to create films that are powerful enough to raise the consciousness of our society. To plant seeds that will one day grow, and blossom into being alive and awake. And when enough people are conscious, it will spread to the rest like in the 100th Monkey Phenomenon. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen. And I want to play my small part in it. That is my dream.
1.14.2004
I saw this on another blogsite, and thought it was a good idea. Of course, so far no one knows about this blog site, because I haven't told a soul, and I probably won't. So I'm not really expecting any responses, even if Blogspeak was up and running. But here goes:
Things You Should Know About Me:
1. I'm insatiably curious, sometimes to a fault. Sometimes I discover things that I wish I didn't know.
2. I like to make decisions based on truth, and I never look the other way.
3. I'm an incredibly good speller. I won all the spelling bees in school. I told my kids I'd give them $5.00 each if they could spell supercalifragilisticexpialadocious correctly. They did it. I figured if they could spell that, they could spell anything.
4. Everyone who knows me seems to think that I'm a pillar of strength. What they don't realize is that my heart breaks just like anyone else's.
5. I love to watch the sunset.
6. I have a really big weakness for children and animals.
7. Sometimes I cry when I feel the sadness and the pain in the world.
8. Sometimes I cry when I see so much beauty in the world.
9. I get strong psychic intuitions when I least expect them. Usually they're bad, and involve someone I'm close to, but they're always right.
Things You Should Know About Me:
1. I'm insatiably curious, sometimes to a fault. Sometimes I discover things that I wish I didn't know.
2. I like to make decisions based on truth, and I never look the other way.
3. I'm an incredibly good speller. I won all the spelling bees in school. I told my kids I'd give them $5.00 each if they could spell supercalifragilisticexpialadocious correctly. They did it. I figured if they could spell that, they could spell anything.
4. Everyone who knows me seems to think that I'm a pillar of strength. What they don't realize is that my heart breaks just like anyone else's.
5. I love to watch the sunset.
6. I have a really big weakness for children and animals.
7. Sometimes I cry when I feel the sadness and the pain in the world.
8. Sometimes I cry when I see so much beauty in the world.
9. I get strong psychic intuitions when I least expect them. Usually they're bad, and involve someone I'm close to, but they're always right.
I have decided that I am going to make a short to enter into Project Greenlight.I was up all night brainstorming ideas, and it finally came to me. Actually, it's an idea that I had some time ago, but I was able to nail it down. Now I can't wait to do it. It's called "The Moment", and... well, that's all I'm going to say right now!
Life is good! It really is, regardless of all the emotional crap we go through, regardless of the baggage left behind from broken hearts. We can still see the beauty in every moment, and be thankful for life. Lately I've been in a dark place, but I'm beginning to see the light... Sometimes relationships have to change in order to move forward. Sometimes we have to let go of things the way we wanted them, and realize that maybe it wasn't meant to be that way. We have to be unattached to the outcome, and be able to love another unconditionally, inspite of the choices they make. Even if those choices are to be with another. If you truly love someone, you'll want them to be happy, even if what makes them happy takes them away from you. Otherwise, it is only self-love, and self-gratification.
Life is good! It really is, regardless of all the emotional crap we go through, regardless of the baggage left behind from broken hearts. We can still see the beauty in every moment, and be thankful for life. Lately I've been in a dark place, but I'm beginning to see the light... Sometimes relationships have to change in order to move forward. Sometimes we have to let go of things the way we wanted them, and realize that maybe it wasn't meant to be that way. We have to be unattached to the outcome, and be able to love another unconditionally, inspite of the choices they make. Even if those choices are to be with another. If you truly love someone, you'll want them to be happy, even if what makes them happy takes them away from you. Otherwise, it is only self-love, and self-gratification.
1.11.2004
So here is my first blog. What a momentous occasion. My first journal entry should be an important one. I feel like I should say something profound. But nothing profound comes to mind in this moment. I am, at the moment, struggling with the need to stress about something. However, I am determined that I shall not stress. I have always been proud of my ability to not stress under the most difficult circumstances. Unfortunately, pride goeth before the fall, and lately I have been stressing. Does he or doesn't he? Is he or isn't he? Are they or aren't they? I have always said that there is never a good enough reason to stress, because if you can do something about it, then you will, and there's no reason to stress, and if you can't do something about it, then you can't, and there's no reason to stress. In my current dilemma, there isn't a friggin' thing I can do but wait it out, and see what happens. Time tells all. But patience is a virtue that I do not seem to possess at the moment. In the words of Coldplay, "Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard..."
