3.27.2004
Tonight I lost my grandfather.
I guess I should have been expecting it. He was almost 102. But I guess you never really expect to lose someone you love. He was someone that I truly adored. I always felt so connected to him. The last time I got to spend time with him was in July 2002, at my neice's wedding. He sat behind me and kept kicking my chair throughout the wedding. Everytime I turned around, he would smile at me from ear to ear, almost flirtatiously. I loved his spirit. He had a strong spirit. I'll never forget when we all went for a picnic, it was at the bottom of a steep hill, next to the lake. When it was time to go, he picked up his chair, and headed up the hill. He was 100 years old at the time. My grandmother said, "Honey, why don't you walk around, on the sidewalk. It would be easier. That's a steep hill." My grandfather said, "Well, I'm steeper still," and kept walking straight up the steep hill, carrying his chair. My dearest grandpa, I love you and I'm going to miss you. But I know you're still here. I can feel your spirit.
My Grandfather, Russell Dalson, at about age 25 Me and my Grandfather, about four years ago. (Okay, it's a really funky picture of me, but my grandpa looks great!
I guess I should have been expecting it. He was almost 102. But I guess you never really expect to lose someone you love. He was someone that I truly adored. I always felt so connected to him. The last time I got to spend time with him was in July 2002, at my neice's wedding. He sat behind me and kept kicking my chair throughout the wedding. Everytime I turned around, he would smile at me from ear to ear, almost flirtatiously. I loved his spirit. He had a strong spirit. I'll never forget when we all went for a picnic, it was at the bottom of a steep hill, next to the lake. When it was time to go, he picked up his chair, and headed up the hill. He was 100 years old at the time. My grandmother said, "Honey, why don't you walk around, on the sidewalk. It would be easier. That's a steep hill." My grandfather said, "Well, I'm steeper still," and kept walking straight up the steep hill, carrying his chair. My dearest grandpa, I love you and I'm going to miss you. But I know you're still here. I can feel your spirit.
My Grandfather, Russell Dalson, at about age 25 Me and my Grandfather, about four years ago. (Okay, it's a really funky picture of me, but my grandpa looks great!
3.24.2004
Life is incredibly good. I've been blessed, especially of late. There are some pretty amazing people in my life, and I feel like great things are coming... I know that if I stay focused, and work hard, I will get to where I want to be. We can bring into our lives those things that we really desire. We can make our dreams come true. It's not easy. There's pain, frustration and hardship along the way. But it is possible. Attitude is everything. Staying positive, centered, focused, and in love with life.
On a more whimsical note, I was surfing the internet last night, and found these really cool old romance novel covers.
Click here for the entire collection:
Cruel Fate Made Me The Pawn of a Great Man for I was More Than A Secretary!
I Hated His Kisses, He Bought My Love, I Was Starved for Affection, I Couldn't Say No!
And these are awesome. Never knew 007 book covers could be so cool. From www.richiefahey.com
More cool photos from www.richiefahey.com:
Here's my favorite kind of home security system:
Okay, now is this is way too cute not to post:
Follow this link for some of the greatest photos of 2003:
On a more whimsical note, I was surfing the internet last night, and found these really cool old romance novel covers.
Click here for the entire collection:
Cruel Fate Made Me The Pawn of a Great Man for I was More Than A Secretary!
I Hated His Kisses, He Bought My Love, I Was Starved for Affection, I Couldn't Say No!
And these are awesome. Never knew 007 book covers could be so cool. From www.richiefahey.com
More cool photos from www.richiefahey.com:
Here's my favorite kind of home security system:
Okay, now is this is way too cute not to post:
Follow this link for some of the greatest photos of 2003:
3.17.2004
Udo made my day again. His insistence paid off, and they brought me back to play his "other" secretary. So, okay, yeah, I was basically set dressing. But it was still a blast. Udo Kier was amazing to work with. He's alot of fun, and very down to earth. He even bought the crew beers, hung out and drank with us for a few hours. Here's to Udo!
Correction: It was actually Mark, the director, who decided to bring me back as Udo's other secretary.
Me and Udo
Director Mark Atkins and Udo Kier
Correction: It was actually Mark, the director, who decided to bring me back as Udo's other secretary.
Me and Udo
Director Mark Atkins and Udo Kier
3.14.2004
Udo Kier made my day today. I've been working on a film that Mark is directing for The Asylum the past few weeks. I've been doing mostly odd jobs in production, finding locations, etc. Today we were preparing to shoot a scene with Udo Kier, in which he is playing opposite a secretary. When I walked onto the set, Udo Kier said,
"Ah, you must be playing my secretary."
"No," I replied.
"But you must. I insist. You look like Rita Hayworth, and you would be perfect. I want you in the scene. I will fight for you."
The secretary was, of course, already cast, so I did not get the chance to play the secretary.
What a charming man. Like I said, he made my day.
The Charming Udo Kier
"Ah, you must be playing my secretary."
"No," I replied.
"But you must. I insist. You look like Rita Hayworth, and you would be perfect. I want you in the scene. I will fight for you."
The secretary was, of course, already cast, so I did not get the chance to play the secretary.
What a charming man. Like I said, he made my day.
The Charming Udo Kier
3.07.2004
My Beliefs
These beliefs correlate with what I believe to be true.
1. You are a non-physical consciousness that is experiencing physical reality.
2. You were created in the image of The Creator, your essential essence is unconditional love and the experience of ecstasy is your birthright.
3. You are here on Earth at this time because you chose to be.
4. The highest purpose of your life is to be yourself to the best of your ability and live each moment as fully as possible.
5. You always have free will and the freedom to choose.
6. Anything you can imagine is possible for you to experience.
7. You attract your life experiences through the interaction of your strongest beliefs, emotions and actions.
8. Excitement is the physical translation of the vibrational resonance that is your true, core natural being. Follow your excitement!
9. You are naturally abundant and your choices are always supported by Creation.
10. There are only Four Laws in Creation:
1. You exist.
2. The One is All and the All are One .
3. What you put out is what you get back.
4. Change is the only constant...
Except for the first three laws, which never change.
11. There is actually only one moment in Creation. Everything you experience is the same moment from a different point of view.
12. You create the past and the future from the here and now.
13. You are an eternal being and while you may change your form, you cannot cease to exist.
14. Everything you experience is another aspect of yourself.
15. You are loved so unconditionally by Creation that you can even choose to believe that you are not loved.
These beliefs correlate with what I believe to be true.
1. You are a non-physical consciousness that is experiencing physical reality.
2. You were created in the image of The Creator, your essential essence is unconditional love and the experience of ecstasy is your birthright.
3. You are here on Earth at this time because you chose to be.
4. The highest purpose of your life is to be yourself to the best of your ability and live each moment as fully as possible.
5. You always have free will and the freedom to choose.
6. Anything you can imagine is possible for you to experience.
7. You attract your life experiences through the interaction of your strongest beliefs, emotions and actions.
8. Excitement is the physical translation of the vibrational resonance that is your true, core natural being. Follow your excitement!
9. You are naturally abundant and your choices are always supported by Creation.
10. There are only Four Laws in Creation:
1. You exist.
2. The One is All and the All are One .
3. What you put out is what you get back.
4. Change is the only constant...
Except for the first three laws, which never change.
11. There is actually only one moment in Creation. Everything you experience is the same moment from a different point of view.
12. You create the past and the future from the here and now.
13. You are an eternal being and while you may change your form, you cannot cease to exist.
14. Everything you experience is another aspect of yourself.
15. You are loved so unconditionally by Creation that you can even choose to believe that you are not loved.
Why is it so easy for me to express my thoughts and feelings in the written word, here, of all places, for the entire world to view, should it so desire, when it is so difficult for me to express those feelings to the one person who inspires them? What would happen if I were to fearlessly risk it all, spilling all the vulnerable contents of my heart? Would I taste the sweetness of love’s victory, or would I meet with heartbreaking defeat? I know that I have his respect, his affection, his friendship. But does his heart skip a beat, as mine does, when my name shows up on his caller i.d., and he hears my voice on the phone? Do I fill his thoughts and his heart? Or is that spot still reserved for Her? Should I take the advice of my closest friends, cut my losses, walk away, live to love another day? Or do I bravely risk it all, and embrace love with all the fearlessness and passion that my heart can muster? Why is love so complicated? All I desire is a simple love, uncomplicated and sweet, and not painful. Perhaps it would be simpler, easier, if I chose to be his friend only, and not his lover. It would certainly be safer for my heart. But do I want a life that is safe, taking no risks in order to lose nothing, but then gaining nothing either. I do love him, and for sure, it is a love intended for more than friendship. I ask myself, what is it that draws me so? Why has my heart has become so attached? For sure, he has an admirable mind, a wonderful sense of humor, more talent than any man has a right to, and a gentleness to his spirit that speaks to mine. But what really gets me every time are his eyes. Not the look of them, although they are beautiful eyes. It’s what I see in the depths of them that has taken hold of my heart. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. There is something very familiar about his soul; perhaps I have known him before. I feel as if I know the depths of him. But ultimately the question is, do I have a choice? If his heart still belongs to someone else, then I have no choice but friendship. So after all that, all I can do is wait and see… Damn!
Something in these eyes...
Something in these eyes...
