5.19.2005
Kind eyes. Funny. Smart. Talented. He stole my heart, and he has it still.
These eyes stole my heart, over and over again.
These eyes stole my heart, over and over again.
5.17.2005
I feel like an idiot. And I hurt.
What do you do when you realize that the person that you hold in the highest esteem is holding someone else in that esteem? When you realize that your efforts, your talents and your existence are taken for granted, and someone else is still sitting on that pedestal? I'm his biggest fan, and he's hers. It seems that some things never change.
I am striving to love unconditionally, knowing that loving unconditionally means without conditions of any kind. Why is this so difficult? and I'm aware that it's my ego. It's the thorns of ego growing on the rose of love that are at the root of all pain.
But I am no egoless saint. I still have a deep-seated need to be deeply appreciated, and loved by the one that I love.
So what do I do? Do I give up and walk away? How many times must I hit my head on the wall before I realize the truth? Surely somewhere in this world there is someone that will be my biggest fan.
I just don't want to hurt anymore. I'm tired. This endless pain has taken me to a darker place than I have ever been. It's time to get back to the light...
What do you do when you realize that the person that you hold in the highest esteem is holding someone else in that esteem? When you realize that your efforts, your talents and your existence are taken for granted, and someone else is still sitting on that pedestal? I'm his biggest fan, and he's hers. It seems that some things never change.
I am striving to love unconditionally, knowing that loving unconditionally means without conditions of any kind. Why is this so difficult? and I'm aware that it's my ego. It's the thorns of ego growing on the rose of love that are at the root of all pain.
But I am no egoless saint. I still have a deep-seated need to be deeply appreciated, and loved by the one that I love.
So what do I do? Do I give up and walk away? How many times must I hit my head on the wall before I realize the truth? Surely somewhere in this world there is someone that will be my biggest fan.
I just don't want to hurt anymore. I'm tired. This endless pain has taken me to a darker place than I have ever been. It's time to get back to the light...
5.08.2005
A couple of nights ago me and Mark hiked up to the Hollywood sign after we wrapped on the film for the day, and shot some amazing shots of the Hollywood sign with low lying clouds wafting over it. I've never the seen the Hollywodo sign like that. It looked dark, evil and sinister.
Typical shot of Hollywood sign
Then we hiked back down the mountain in the dark right through the low lying clouds. I loved it! It was truly surreal.
Typical shot of Hollywood sign
Then we hiked back down the mountain in the dark right through the low lying clouds. I loved it! It was truly surreal.
5.06.2005
I am sitting here among boxes... dreading each box that is being filled up. Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled to be moving out of this little hole in the wall in Burbank. Anxious even. But it doesn't lessen the misery of packing and moving. Packing and moving in the short (1 day) break I have from line producing a feature film called Sweetzer.
"Sweetzer is a romantic comedy set in a Los Angeles where women have taken to burning the paint off cheating men’s cars. The story unfolds over a comedic 24 hours as an ensemble cast weaves through a Los Angeles full of Yoga Centers, Sex Addicts Meetings, coffee shops, and hair removal techniques. (At one point we find a guy hanging by ropes, upside down, in a yoga center talking on the phone to an out of work actor who is getting his butt waxed in an effort to impress a girl.) While shenanigans abound we come to see that insecurities are real and people have to struggle with truly tough issues – like the loss of a parent. This story makes it clear that life moves forward and love conquers all."
It's actually a very sweet film with a number of laugh out loud scenes. Written, directed by and starring Wayne Reynolds, an AFI grad. One of my favorite scenes is a scene starring a dear friend of mine by the name of Jay Bogdanowich. He really just killed. He was great. The whole crew was laughing so hard during his scenes.
We also have Jorge Garcia from "Lost" and Bryan Callen from "Fat Actress". Both of them are doing a phenomenal job, and we are fortunate to have them on our shoot.
the one and only Jorge Garcia
the mad, mad Bryan Callen
We also have a great crew, once again. I have always been so fortunate in pulling a crew together, even on a minimal budget. We have Ray Peschke as our DP. He was gaffer on some pretty amazing films like JFK, The Usual Suspects, The Cable Guy, Born On The Fourth of July, among many others. My sweetheart is operating camera. Dana "McGyver" Kopetzky came in as sound mixer for the first week as a favor to me. Our art department has done a great job on a pretty minimal budget, Jen Swanston, the Production Designer and Lee Tosca, her assistant. Yvonne Wang has done a phenomenal job as makeup artist, and Amy Haffner absolutely amazes me as head of Wardrobe. And Zack Richard is once again Gaffer. I've hardly done a project without him as the gaffer. He is also a great DP and cameraman (www.zackrichard.com).
Soooo.... anyways. I am moving. To the "oasis". That's what we call it, and that's truly what it is. The atmosphere and the feel of it is like getting away from it all. It has a very creative vibe to it. Probably because it has been inhabited by very creative spirits for the past ten years or so, and they have infused their creative spirit into the very heart and soul of the place. Great things shall come to pass in that house. But first I have to pack...
"Sweetzer is a romantic comedy set in a Los Angeles where women have taken to burning the paint off cheating men’s cars. The story unfolds over a comedic 24 hours as an ensemble cast weaves through a Los Angeles full of Yoga Centers, Sex Addicts Meetings, coffee shops, and hair removal techniques. (At one point we find a guy hanging by ropes, upside down, in a yoga center talking on the phone to an out of work actor who is getting his butt waxed in an effort to impress a girl.) While shenanigans abound we come to see that insecurities are real and people have to struggle with truly tough issues – like the loss of a parent. This story makes it clear that life moves forward and love conquers all."
It's actually a very sweet film with a number of laugh out loud scenes. Written, directed by and starring Wayne Reynolds, an AFI grad. One of my favorite scenes is a scene starring a dear friend of mine by the name of Jay Bogdanowich. He really just killed. He was great. The whole crew was laughing so hard during his scenes.
We also have Jorge Garcia from "Lost" and Bryan Callen from "Fat Actress". Both of them are doing a phenomenal job, and we are fortunate to have them on our shoot.
the one and only Jorge Garcia
the mad, mad Bryan Callen
We also have a great crew, once again. I have always been so fortunate in pulling a crew together, even on a minimal budget. We have Ray Peschke as our DP. He was gaffer on some pretty amazing films like JFK, The Usual Suspects, The Cable Guy, Born On The Fourth of July, among many others. My sweetheart is operating camera. Dana "McGyver" Kopetzky came in as sound mixer for the first week as a favor to me. Our art department has done a great job on a pretty minimal budget, Jen Swanston, the Production Designer and Lee Tosca, her assistant. Yvonne Wang has done a phenomenal job as makeup artist, and Amy Haffner absolutely amazes me as head of Wardrobe. And Zack Richard is once again Gaffer. I've hardly done a project without him as the gaffer. He is also a great DP and cameraman (www.zackrichard.com).
Soooo.... anyways. I am moving. To the "oasis". That's what we call it, and that's truly what it is. The atmosphere and the feel of it is like getting away from it all. It has a very creative vibe to it. Probably because it has been inhabited by very creative spirits for the past ten years or so, and they have infused their creative spirit into the very heart and soul of the place. Great things shall come to pass in that house. But first I have to pack...
